I picked up a gaggle of my oldest daughters' friends from a day at the beach yesterday. They weren't where they were supposed to be, and for a few minutes I couldn't find them. They had wandered off and found themselves (lo and behold) hanging out at a boys lacrosse practice session, a block or two from the lake. When I found them, I was a bit taken aback. There they were in bathing suit tops, "soffee" shorts and flip flops. Their bodies so young and flawless. Not a dimple of cellulite nor a single little fat roll. Their skin still smooth, baby soft and not yet damaged by the sun. Here they are, little girls learning how to walk around in a more womanly skin, and I wonder if they know it. They're still young and innocent in so many ways, but do they know that by wearing their tiny bikini tops and shorts, they are being provocative?
I loaded the group of them into my car, and began my lecture. Half of these girls, I hadn't met, and don't know their families, but I lectured anyway. My main concern was that no one had told a grown-up where they were. But, in addition, they have to be very careful flaunting their stuff around the neighborhood.
A couple girls argued that their moms wouldn't be mad, and for a moment, I thought, can that be true? Sure enough, though, I marched them right back to another girls house,who's mother I had just met, and THANK G-D, this other mom backed me up 100%.
Oh, how I hope I can protect them. But we do have to rely on the good sense of their friend's parents as well. When I'm responsible for someone else's daughter, I have the same expectations of them as I would for my own child. And if I see behavior that is blatantly improper or rude, I don't mind pointing it out. I only hope that the moms of my daughters friends will do the same for me.
5 comments:
That is an excellent example of good mothering Lori. H is needs to chill with bad self a bit.....
Can I play the part of the teenage kid for a second? (For some scary reason, I seem to remember it well!) I remember being 13 at the beach, suddenly not just aware that I was looking provocative, but EXCITED that I was looking provocative! Holy cow, boys were looking...at me!
This was brand new! I realize it's a different world now, and moms certainly have to be much more careful, but I do think it's normal that they're discovering (and enjoying) this new side of themselves.
That said...uhh, er, ummm...have fun!
Susan,
Thank you for putting things into perspective for me You are right, and I needed the opportunity to see it from a different point of view. Of course, this doesn't make it any easier, but, such is life!
It is absolutely normal behavior for these young teenagers. But the sad part is, that normal behavior today for kids was considered risque back in our day. (did i spell that right) Anyway, I think young girls have to be schooled in learning that feeling sexy and provacitve is a great and a normal thing...but they must be responsible about it. And that my sister is what you were expressing to them.
Yep...there's truth in all of the above comments.
Which is why I've always wanted a little girl, but I also wish they came with an option-to-renew when they turn 5! :-)
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