Home Stretch

We are officially in the home stretch of planning for the big day. So much has been accomplished. Still quite a bit to do. I decided to make my final to do list on my blog, since I keep losing the random scraps of paper I've been writing on.

I do need some advice, so please (Susan, this means you) chime in anytime.

1. Call Caterer and order food for the "after" party (at my house) done! wraps,salad, sicilian pizza and blondies
-----try to figure out what exactly to order for 18 teens plus family
Get breakfast food for Sunday morning for 18 teens forget it dunkin donuts
2. Print service program gregg's problem!
3. Decide which font to us on the place cards. DONE!!!
4. Print out place cards. DONE!
5. Finalize table chart and seating chart. Do I put Gregg's mom's side next to the speakers or my cousin Frank's table next to the speakers. I don't want to insult anyone. DONE!!
6. Finish creating big giant table map for the entrance to ballroom done!
7. Get a lot of checks together
8. Make copies of all speeches, dvd, readings and contracts. Put them in a binder to bring to temple done!
9. Clean out the basement for 18 teens to sleep over in ALMOST DONE!
10. Buy paper goods for "after" party done!
11. Drop off gift bags to out of towners
12. Make mani-pedi appt for Aunt Wendi done!
13. Make hair appt. for Aunt Wendi done!
14. Get hair coloreed (appt is scheduled) done!
15. Get hair cut done!!
16. Pick up earrings from bank vault
17. Make reservations for Friday night din-din DONE!!!
18. Pick up Hayley's sports physical (not for bat mitzvah, but its due on Tuesday) done!
19. Make appointment for dogs to stay in kennel for the weekend done!
20. Get a birthday cake for my sister in laws b-day done!
21. Get a present for my sister in law's b-day
22. Take Hayley's dress to tailor to add straps (she changed her mind, mom) DONE!!
23. Finish writing famous song with Auntie Wendi almost done!
24. Buy tights for Addie done!
25. Email Rabbi, go over details of Addison's hebrew name for Friday Night Service done!
26. Buy Addie a little gift for her hebrew naming ceremony on Friday night done!
27. Get a new pair of reading glasses that won't look so obvious on me done!
28. Finish writing my speech done! - will publish this on blog next week :)
29. Burn dvd montage done!
30. Call bus company to make sure buses will show up at Temple on time done!
31. Take final table plans over to caterer.
32. Take final payment over to caterer done!
33. Ask mom if I can borrow necklace. Mom, can I borrow that necklace? done! thanks mom
34. Call invitation lady to order thank yous. done!
35. Make donation to synagogue in honor of the girls done!
36. Meet with mitzvah program coordinator to make sure the girls are good to go done!
37. e-mail friends and relatives who are doing a reading to remind them to come early, and to stand up and face the congregation when reading (irisa, consider this your reminder) done!
38. Take all decor over to caterer
39. Call balloon guy and give him final count
40. Buy some house plants. (we need some)
41. Make sure cleaning lady shows up on thursday she did...it's very clean
42. Meet with Rabbi on Wednesday for runthrough. Bring shoes for girls to walk in. done! forgot the shoes, whoops
43. Call hotel to finalize which out-of-towners are staying there.
44. Pick up Gregg's suit from cleaner done!
NEW STUFF
45. Rework tables a little, since we had a late no. Does any blogger friend want to join us, so they can sit at the Matisyahu table? (I'm not really kidding:)done!
46. Pick up Hayley's dress at dressmaker, now that they are putting on straps. done!
47. Finish cleaning basment done!
49. Go out to dinner with the family tonight. done!
50. Make appointment with Thyroid doctor (okay mom??) done!

New: 51 - Rework montage, because the music is too loud, as per videographer - done!!!
52 - Score place-cards -delegated! (to gregg!)
53 - Give final appoval to party favor lady done!
54 - Take Roxy to vet, so her rabies is updated, so she can stay in kennel done!
55 - Get the girls to finish their candlelighting poems done!

More -
56. - Meet with Mitzvah program coordinator to finalize the girls mitzvot done done done~!!
A few more:
57.Organize the house so that we are good to go on Friday done!
58.Get my mani-pedi
59.Gather all outfits, and then put them together, so everyone can find them
60.Pack moisturizer and an extra set of contacts for syd

MORE
61. Make earplug packs for guests. done!
62. Pack craft bag to take to the caterer to fix up centerpieces just in case done!

Did I forget anything? I'm sure I did. Seriously, I didn't expect this list to be sooo long. In fact, I think I just had a little nervous breakdown.

xoxo

What do you know, I'm Claire Huxtable

Thanks to my blogger pal Amber who pointed out that I'm am not the first broken toe diva out there. This is an old episode of the Cosby show, where Claire had the very same dilemma as I currently do. (Okay, it wasn't Rudy's Bat Mitzvah, but you get the idea.)

And aside from the fact that this video was posted on you tube by someone who has an apparent foot fetish, it is somehow a comfort to know that a fictional character shares my conundrum.

A little bit of Fun

I feel so bad for my littlest bunny, Addie. She's been getting a little overshadowed by her big sisters and Bat Mitzvah planning. We have to schlep her along to rehearsals, and clothing appointments and services and tutoring. It's hard to have special Addie time. She's been a good soldier, but the pangs of guilt I have are killing me!

Addison turned 7 on Saturday, so we had a practically Bat Mitzvah free day. My parents and my sister-in-law (and her wonderful bf Bill), and my beautiful niece Dawn came over to help us celebrate.

Aunt Wendi couldn't be there due to her winter cold/flu/bug, but, nevertheless, she called about 20 times to wish our princess a happy birthday...

Addison invited her best friend Jireh, (the 2nd cutest first grader we know) to spend the day with us. They even had a sleepover together. They were so good, so I told Jireh that she could come over anytime she wanted. This has now caused a ruckus in Mrs. Feeney's first grade class. When I stopped by yesterday to drop off birthday treats, all the other little girls wanted to know if they, too, could come over whenever they want.

Okay. I told them. Really sounding as if I meant it.

The best part of Addie's day might have been receiving her very own American Girl Doll from Wendi and the Grandparents. The doll she got has the very same hair color and style as Addie, so how cute is that??? Addie talking to Aunt Wendi on the phone as she opens her American Girl Doll. Doesn't it look like she's looking into a mirror?

My favorite part of the day actually happened the night before. Addie and I had the house to ourselves (the rest of the family was out), and we baked her birthday cake together. She chose the colors and the style and helped decorate it.

We made a mess. We licked the spoon. We even played with marzipan and made little mini-fruit. We sang songs as we took turns stirring the cake batter. We got food dye all over our fingers. We just had fun. And to be honest, I'm not very good at just having fun (I have to work on that)

mmmmm...looks good

Way too often in my life, I get stuck on the obligations. I have to make dinner, fold the laundry, pick up the kids, check my e-mail (okay that's not really an obligation, but the lull of the computer is like a magnetic force), return a phone call, work on the centerpieces, pay the bills. And all the while, sweet little Addie just wants to be with...me. Too often, I say, "in a minute, dear", or "no, I can't right now". It was really nice to put her at the very tippy top of the list, and put everything else on hold.

So this is my promise to my Addie...I will make "having fun" a top priority on my list of obligations. And who knows, with practice, I might actually get good at it.

Happy Birthday to my darling.

I guess I really am Done

This post is prefaced with apologies to my expectant parent readers, both adoptive and biological (not that there are any...but whatever). I post this not to offend, I just came to a realization that I wanted to share.

Yesterday, Syd came running home from picking up Addie at the Bus Stop. "Oh my G-d", she cried, "you're not going to believe this!!"

"What's the matter????" (of course, in my family, we always jump to the conclusion that something is wrong at a moment like this)

"Mrs. X is going to have a baby!!!" (The name has been changed to protect the pregnant)

(Now, this is the part where I should have been jumping for joy, spinning with glee. I should have had visions of booties and baby bottles dancing in my head. And all I could say was:)

"Why?"

Could I be more of a Bee-Yatch???? W0w. Of course, I'm happy for her, and her family. A BABY!! This will be her number three.

There used to be a day where I would hear the news of an impending arrival, and feel the teensiest bit jealous. I would long for the sweet innocence of new motherhood, diaper bags, A&D ointment, baby monitors, baby shampoo, baby poop, even a little fussy colic. That magical time in a mommy's life where you are (at least in one person's eyes) PERFECT. You sing like a bird, you are the prettiest mommy on the block and you don't even have bad breath.

Today, I just don't feel any of that longing. I'm happy for her. But it stops right there. No longing, no jealousy. Actually a little relieved to be done with that part of my life.

As a young woman, in the work force, my goal was simple. I wasn't looking to be the Vice-President of my department, I wanted to find the love of my life, get married, have babies and live happily ever after. I made career choices. I didn't work late every night. I usually left right on time. I made a conscious decision to focus on my personal life instead of my professional life. I didn't need career success.

My choices actually worked. At 25 I met my Gregg (the cutest boyfriend I ever had!). By 28 we were married (a fairy tale wedding). Hayley was born when I was 4 months shy of my 30th birthday. Baby number 2 came just 19 months later. This was right on schedule. (Just how I wanted it).

When baby number two was 5 years old I had a new choice. Was I ready to be done being a mother to babies? Was I ready to be a PTA mom? Could I go back into the work force now?? The answer, a resounding NO!! I was not done with diapers. I wanted more sippy cups and cheerios!

Baby number 3 came when I was 37. A perfect little girl. With a head full of hair and personality plus. (The picture on the right was taken hours after she was born, just as she was meeting her big sisters for the first time...this is my favorite picture in the world...I feel like I'm holding a bouquet of beautiful little girls) Motherhood this time was a little different. I wasn't the only mommy in the house any more. Baby number 3 had one mommy plus 2 junior mommy's to love and nurture her.

As she got older, I started to get back in my own groove. I discovered that I didn't want to ignore my artistic talents anymore. I discovered that I had value beyond (trying to be a) perfect mother.

And now the littlest one is about to be 7 years old. Really, truly, NOT a baby anymore. And I ask myself again, "am I really ready to stop being a mother to babies?" The answer this time is ABSOLUTELY!!!! I have lived that part of my life, and I am excited to discover this new chapter. I'll continue to have plenty of things to baby..my home, my family, my camp job, my business and maybe even myself. But a baby? A real human baby? I'm really done.

Considering I had my tubes tied 3 years ago, thats a pretty good thing!!!

More exciting broken toe news....

And you thought this was the "all bat mitzvah all the time" network. Now, this is the blog that specializes in providing information to anyone interested in middle aged women with bone fractures planning a large scale party.

So, since I'm going to be sporting the boot and one high heel on the big day, my friend Alison had THE BEST idea.

I am going to make a Cover for my walking boot!! Basically, I'm going to attempt to embellish some bad bridal satin, and fit it over my boot. I'm going to whip out the sequins and rhinestones, so it'll be extra pretty/tacky (take your pick)...

She also wants to decorate the cane I'll be using, .. but I'm not sure how to do that...hmmmm.

Okay, that's it for now, but I'll be sure to post pics of (as Alison called it) the Toaster Cozy for my foot. (I think we should call it a Toe-Ster Cozy...)

:)

Lesson's from a Broken Toe

I believe everything unfortunate (albeit kind of funny) happens in order to teach us a lesson. Now that 4 days have passed since the INCIDENT, I feel I have already learned a few lessons.

In no particular order, here they are:

1. When you break a toe, even though it is a real bone, there are some people who aren't going to be able to keep themselves from laughing at you.
2. Crutches stink, however, they are more effective than a gym membership, based on the full body work-out you get merely by hobbling to the bathroom.
3. Even though I thought I had the world's ugliest feet (yes, Fred Flintstone ones), I apparently have very nice feet. This I learned from what I consider to be an expert in the field of feet, my new podiatrist. He actually seemed sincere about this.
4. There are not enough places in the world, (ok, southern new jersey) that are handicapped accessible. Particularly, my podiatrist's office, which was a bear to handle.
5. I now understand why handicapped bathrooms and showers have long handlebars on the walls.
6. It takes 6 weeks (on average) for a broken toe to heal. This brings me to the big lesson that I haven't yet learned...(HELP)!!!!

HOW AM I GOING TO LOOK GLAM ON THE BAT MITZVAH???? IT ISN'T POSSIBLE...CAUSE NOW I DON'T LOOK AS MUCH FRED FLINTSTONE AS I DO FRANKENSTEIN...

MY DRESS IS KNEE LENGTH, THERE'S NO HIDING IT...I am rather inspired by these red carpet photos...do you think I should rock the high heel /walking boot or should I get a pair of flats and have both legs look ugly. I think I'm leaning toward the high heal/slash walking boot...hell, if Rihanna can do it, and George Clooney's girlfriend, I certainly can!!!

This Little Piggy Went to Market

Today started out pretty good. All three girls went to school, no one overslept, I got a shower and I was out of the house early to run errands.

I made a $59. purchase at Staples, but only paid $20. thanks to coupons. Hooray for me!

I went to a different supermarket today, just to add some variety to my routine (which sometimes feels so stale I want to scream!!), and was so glad I did. I guess I didn't realize how overpriced my normal stomping ground can be.

I picked up my bat mitzvah shoes from the shoe store, they have been dyed to match my dress.

So I'm checking things off my list, one by one.

Come home, unload groceries, and as I'm stuffing the pantry with jars of spaghetti sauce, (purchased on SALE...10 for $10.00!), I made the mistake of over stuffing the pantry...and the jar flew out, and landed on my big toe. You know, the Little Piggy that went to Market.

Bottom line, I broke my toe!

I'm on crutches now, which totally sucks. And all I keep thinking about is whether or not I'll be healed by the Bat Mitzvah. (How attractive my dress will look with crutches and my big old Fred Flintstone foot hanging out...oy!)

I still can not believe this!!!

Letting Go

We met with the cantor today, to review the torah portions, haftarah portions, blessings etc. The girls did so well, and after nearly a year of sweating and studying, one daughter is completely done, and one daughter is nearly done. Wow. They are so proud of themselves, you can literally see they are a lighter and less anxious than even a month ago. It is such a torturous process, what, with having to be serious and learn to read ancient text, attend hebrew school, shabbat (sabbath) services, do loving deeds and community service, not to mention go to middle school and once in a while (okay, more often than that) just be a girlie girl and hang with friends.

But here they are, on the other side of the mountain, and they just have to practice and perfect to be ready for their big day, just 32 days away.

As I watched them chant in the cantor's office, I kept my mouth shut. If they messed up, I could not make excuses for them, if they did well, I could take no credit. I was just an outside observer. And for the first time, it occurred to me that as they continue to grow, I'll become more of an observer and less of a contributer.

Up until now, I have had a certain amount of control in the decisions of their lives. Dance lessons, piano or gymnastics? Checking to make sure homework is completed, preparation for tests complete, where we shop, what they wear, what they eat, whether or not they attend hebrew, which movies they can watch, etc etc.

As they mature, I am learning I have to give up some of that control. They are at the point in their life, where they need to be responsible for many of their own choices. So often, I want to jump in and say No!...but I feel like they have to make their own mistakes, solve their own problems.

Yesterday, we met with Hayley's future guidance counselor, to make course selections for High School. (Yes, HIGH SCHOOL!). She had a lot of choices. Accelerated or honors courses, geometry or algebra, music theory or graphic design. I certainly gave my opinion, but in the end, she is building foundation for her own education and future. She has to have final say. (She chose honors spanish, honors algebra, accelerated biology, basic musicianship/guitar lessons) I had to let go. Nothing could be more heart wrenching. But I better get used to it.

We are not raising children, we are raising adults. To hover too much, to baby them too much, robs them of coping skills. I want them to be able to cope with whatever life throws at them.

I guess, whether or not I can cope with watching them grow up, is another story altogether.



P.S. Isn't it ironic, that when my sister adopts her baby girl, her focus will be on attachment. At the very same time, my focus will be letting go.

Levels

Well, look at me, you have to be pretty darn smart to read my blog.

Movie Reviews

If you really want a kick, check out Addison's Blog and see her level. My my.

44 and staying

Ouch. I'm 44 today, happy birthday me!

I want to thank my sister for writing the funniest birthday wishes ever...i love them (although you have not sung me the birthday song yet :)

I want to thank my daughter Addie for a beautiful card and a homemade purse.
I want to thank Hayley for letting me cuddle and watch Friends together last night
I want to thank Sydney for telling me she loves me 4 times before leaving the house (today and everyday)
I want to thank Gregg for getting me a robe that I don't want to take off cause its so cuddly and stuff.
I want to thank my mom (and dad) for being the first call of the morning today and every day
I want to thank KJo for being my almost sorority sister
I want to thank Irisa for being the most faithful yet anonymous blog reader I have
I want to thank Facebook for reminding everyone in Facebook World that its my birthday
I want to thank Adobe for creating Photoshop Elements, cause I love it.
I want to thank Heidi for calling me while her class was empty
I want to thank the other Anonymous Blog reader for posting a comment on my blog yesterday, that humbled me (and creeped me out a little. :)
I want to thank G-d for the abundance of my blessings. I'm so grateful.