All Bat Mitzvah All the Time

Five weeks away, and I'm now in it completely. I'm sorry.

When we set out to do this, I was determined not to "over-do" the party. I don't want to be one of those parties that takes what is basically a 13 year olds birthday party and turns it into a wedding. But as I'm going through it, I'm realizing the over-do-ing of the party is really a matter of perspective.

My girls have been in the bar/bat mitzvah circuit and are completely jaded by the experience. The touches that I feel are above and beyond necessary are, to the girls, completely expected and basic. Crazy.

I'm trying to throw a party that will make 130(plus) kids happy, 100 (plus) adults happy and I'm learning that this is probably impossible. I want balance, and simplicity. I'm not so sure that's what we're going to get. But I'll keep trying.

Anyway, I'm still over the moon with excitement, and when this is over, I'm going to miss the constant conversations, planning, and anticipation. Isn't there a saying that "Life is what happens while you are making plans" ? That is so true, and that's why this part of the process is just as much fun as the day itself.

cause my mom said so

All my readers. All three of you. (Maybe four) You all want to see the dress, but my mom said I'm not allowed to show a picture. So, I won't. Cause she said so.

Airplanes and wide shoes

Sydney is off to Chicago this weekend to attend her camp friend, Rikki's Bat Mitzvah. She is going with three other camp girls and two mom's, and they'll be staying at a chic Chicago hotel.

Because I go with them to camp in the summer, I have had little experience not being nearby my daughters. And now, Syd's on an airplane, and I'm just holding my breath that she'll arrive safely, not to mention warmly (it's COLD!!). As parents, we have to raise our children to be independent, and self sufficient so that adulthood doesn't knock them to the ground. As much as I want her to stay with me this weekend, I'm excited that she's having her very own adventure without me.

In other news, I found a pair of shoes for the bat mitzvah. I know that doesn't sound so momentous, but with my wide flat (aka) Fred Flintstone feet, finding shoes that fit is a major accomplishment. Anyway, this is a picture of them, they are going to be dyed to match the dress...but this is them in white. The material is a bridal satin-y stuff. BTW, did you know you can spend $300 plus on a pair of dyeable shoes? I cannot even imagine. I did not spend $300. on the shoes, naturally, but I got really nice service at Best Foot Forward in Cherry Hill. They were able to stretch the shoes so that they would be more comfy, and they are also going to take a sliver off the heel, to make them a little less difficult to walk in.

Are these shoes my favorite things ever??? Not a chance, but they fit, they will match when dyed, and it's now one less thing on my ever growing list of things to do.

Wendi, do think these will be okay? Please say yes, because they don't take returns!!!

Do you think I should post a pic of the dress? Or should I leave that as a surprise????

xoxo

Bursting with pride

We had our first Rabbi appointment today with the entire family to discuss the B'Not Mitzvah, which is just 6 weeks away...can you believe it? Our Rabbi, is wonderful, everything you would wish for in a spiritual leader, brilliant, yet personable, with a kind and gentle demeanor. I feel so proud to be part of this congregation and equally as proud that he is our leader.

The girls read aloud to the Rabbi their "D'var Torah" speeches. These are pretty in depth speeches which relate the Torah portion they are reading on their Bat Mitzvah day, to their own lives. Though I might have given the girls some suggestions with regard to grammar and spelling, the speeches they wrote were all their own words and thoughts.

Though I do not wish to share details today about the themes of their speeches, I have to say, I am bubbling over with pride at their beautiful accomplishment. By the time they were finished reading, both Gregg and I were dabbing away the tears.

I was so pleased that the Rabbi expressed how well they had written these speeches. He said, sometimes when the kids write, you can tell that they are just going through the motions. But, it was evident, that both of the girls gave a lot of thought to what they were saying, and wrote with honesty and intelligence.

After it was over, Sydney remarked that she felt ON TOP of THE WORLD. I reminded her, that if she felt like that with simply a visit to the Rabbi, imagine how she will feel when she is in front of her family and friends.

I know I kvetch a lot about the trials of parenting. But today, was truly a highlight. I am so proud of what they have accomplished so far, and proud to be their mom.

:)

Clark Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Geneology

Clark Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Blank family tree

The A to Zed of Me...

I have a confession. I have a couple blogs that I stalk. I found this one blog, of this totally adorable woman in california. i found her after my doc found a thyroid nodule last year. I panicked a little (okay, a little more than a little) and started to do the "diagnose myself on the internet thing". (COME ON, ADMIT IT, YOU'VE DONE IT TOO). Anyway, I found Amber's blog, after she had just been diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer. Of course, I had to check in every day to see how she was doing. (She's doing fine, by the way)

Anyway, she has a great sense of humor, and, though I no longer check in with her every day, I do go on now and then, just to get an update.

Today, she had a cool post. The A to Zed of me. And for lack of anything all that interesting to write about, I thought I would do the same thing.

1. A is for age?
43 (hanging in for another couple of weeks)

2. B is for beer of choice?
Don't really drink beer. B is for boring

3. C is for career right now?
Camp Art Director, Bloggy Stay at Home Mom, Party Planner (one party only), Face Painter, Snuggly Seller

4. D is for your dog's name?
Roxy Cleopatra Clark, and Freddie Finkel Clark

5. E is for essential item you use everyday?
Bare Minerals foundation

6. F is for favorite TV show at the moment?
Project Runway, American Idol

7. G is for favorite game
Poppit

8. H is for home town?
Now or where I grew up?

9. I is for instruments you played?
Piano and for a year, trumpet

10. J is for favorite juice?
V-8

11. K is for whose ass you'd like to kick?
That's not nice.

12. L is for last place you ate?
My kitchen

13. M is for marriage

15 1/2 really good years.

14. N is for your full name?
Loopy J. Clark

15. O is for overnight hospital stays?
MANY! 3 babies, surprise appendix, gall bladder, NOSE JOB...probably more

16. P is for people you were with today?
just the kids

17. Q is for quote?
Everything's better with glitter or "i could totally do that"


18. R is for biggest regret?
Dropping out of college, not pursuing my passion in college (whatever that would have been)

19. S is for superstition.
I have to say goodbye and I love you to everyone when they leave, or I'm afraid something bad will happen to them.

20. T is for time you woke up today?
6:50. 7:01. 7:09

21. U is for underwear you have on now?
private

22. V is for vegetable you love?
Edamamme, Cabbage,Broccoli, Spinach.

23. W is for worst habit?
Procrastination without a doubt (do you know all the things I should be doing now???)

24. X is for x-rays you've had?
Nose, arm, neck, teeth

25. Y is for yummy food you ate today?
A fuji apple. it was really good.

26. Z is for the zodiac
Aquarius

A is for

top reasons planning a b'not mitzvah is not as much fun as planning a wedding

10. my parents aren't paying for it
9. my daughters don't understand what a "b" list is
8. i'm too cheap to pay $50. per centerpiece, so i'm making them myself, which is really more than i am capable of
7. the place we're having it is still under construction AAAARRRGGGGHHHH
6. i have to shop for shoes, outfits, shrugs for me and three daughters
5. schlepping to the synagogue for tutoring every week and sitting on the girls to do their torah studying, their mitzvot, their dvar torah writing
4. keeping track of the ever changing guest list ("but mom, she's like my BEST friend)
2. worrying that everyone will stay healthy
1. it was a lot more fun trying on size six wedding dresses than size (secret) "mother of the bar mitzvah" dresses,

Soon, your dreams will be a distant memory

Dear Wendi,

We got a chance to catch up with our former next-door neighbors last night. They lived in our neighborhood only a year and a half, and then they moved away. Though, I still haven't gotten over the loss (5 years later), it was wonderful that they stopped by with their beautiful daughter Victoria to spend time with us over the weekend.

Victoria is 9 (almost 10) years old and was adopted as a newborn from Vietnam. When I first met her family, she was a feisty and beautiful 3 year old princess, who Hayley and Sydney loved to dote upon. They loved and adored her as much as they loved her parents Terri and Tony. They spent hours playing at their house, baking cupcakes, doing art projects and fussing with Victoria. Addison was a nursing newborn at the time, so the support I received from the family was greatly appreciated.

When Terri and I first met, she showed me photos of her adoption of Victoria. She spent a month, by herself in Vietnam and Thailand, before she could bring the baby home. At the time, those photos were so interesting, but I couldn't even begin to fathom the angst, the heartache, and the long wait they had to adopt this precious baby. Now, that I am a future Aunt of an adopted baby, the whole story has come to life for me.

Last night, Terri retold us the details of her experience. They started their process in China and ended up in Vietnam. They received one referral, a 9 month old, who they were later told died of pneumonia. Then, just as Terri was ready to give up, the agency called. They had a brand new baby girl in need of a mommy and daddy. Of course, it had a happy ending, but what they endured to get to the ending was grueling.

My favorite part of her story, and I hope she doesn't mind me sharing it here (heck, it's not like I have a big readership anyway!), was the moment she received her baby. She was with a group, and 30 minutes after they arrived in the country, they were told to board a bus, because a couple of the babies were ready to be picked up. They specified who the babies belonged to, so Terri brought along her video camera to tape the arrival moments of those in her group.

The first baby came out, a pudgy 7 month old with wild hair, and they were blown away as they watched her meet her mommy and daddy. They waiting a little longer and then Terri saw a tiny newborn being brought out. As she wondered, "whose baby is that," they handed her over
to Terri, and said, "this is your baby". She was completely floored. Can you imagine??????

Fast forward 10 years, and here's Victoria. Hip-Hop dancer, hair down to her waist, and a smile that lights up the room. Years ago, when she lived here, Hayley and Sydney would dote upon her, as Addie would sit in my lap. Last night, it was Victoria, doting upon Addison, playing with make-up (thanks Wendi), messing up the basement and eating cookies together.

I still cannot really fathom what you are going through, but one day, your life will be wonderfully MUNDANE. And I mean that in a good way. You're concerns are going to be how you are going to get through homework, carpooling and schlepping, parent-teacher conferences, playdates and best friend squabbles.

Terri said she used to get so upset with the wait. And so frustrated. And her husband told her, the stress isn't going to change the wait. So just wait. (And wait and wait and wait) It will turn around. It will all be okay in the end. Wendi, be grateful for the wait. It has brought you new and wonderful friends, an opportunity for you to re-invent your career and time to readjust to who you are going to be. I know is sucks, but please know that in the end, this will all be but a memory.

Resolutions

On the topic of New Years Resolutions (or Revolutions as so eloquently stated by Addison and Wendi), I thought I might reflect upon a few of my own...quickly, cause I have to get to the supermarket, make 3 doctor/orthodontist appointment, return 2 e-mails, fold the laundry, empty the trash, continue making Bat Mitzvah Centerpieces, start on the slide show for the bat mitzvah, help the girls complete their mitzvah projects, sign my contract for camp, get together with my friend stacey for the first time in a year, explain to her why its been a year, design place cards that look like back-stage passes, stuff invitation envelopes, buy stamps for the invitations, finalize my guest list, get the dogs in the house, get dinner started, call my business partner, get two Snuggly events started, organize Sydney's closet, cause she won't do it herself, spray paint the curly ting ting...

Okay I only have time for one resolution.

I resolve to get myself better organized. So I can do all I have to do with ease and fluidity. So I don't loose my cell phone or car keys just as I walk out the door. So I don't feel the need to agonize over ever decision, even the little ones. I will make lists, keep calendars, and not lose time doing stupid things. Speaking of which, I think I'm losing a little time right now.

Gotta go live my life.

xoxo