I just hung up the phone with an old friend. The kind of friend who's seen me at my worst, my best and my in between. She's frustrated with me. With good reason. I haven't been the most loyal friend for the past couple of years. It wasn't that anything precipitated my behavior. She was never mean, did nothing wrong...life just continues. I suck at returning phone calls. I suck at making plans. I suck at keeping in touch. Part of me is kind of shy...silly, I know, but I sometimes feel awkward calling people just to say hi. Part of me is really kind of introspective. I keep everything to myself, and don't really reach out. I don't like to burden. Part of me is just a loner. I am kind of a homebody, a bit of a hermit. I don't know how this happened to me, it's just kind of did. But my treatment of her, and other good, old friends...not really acceptable.
I know if I continue along this path, I'll find myself, with no friends.
I don't know why I felt the need to write this in here. I'm feeling really raw, really emotional at the moment, and maybe just needed to put it out there. Like if it's in black and white, I can't deny my poor behavior anymore, I have to acknowledge it, and try to correct it.
If you are one of my good friends, thank you for your patience with probably my worst flaw. I appreciate you, and am grateful for you.
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