Today, I am grateful.I am newly employed! So lucky to have a position with a company that allows me to make use of my creativity, gives me a flexible schedule, and if all goes well, perhaps make a considerable contribution to my family.
I am balancing this new career with the needs of my family. School forms completed? Check! School shoes purchased? Check! Groceries? Check! Dinner? Already cooked, ready to go! Bathrooms? Well, maybe they could be cleaner...but...Check!
My work life in the recent past has been filled with positions that have been physically and (sometimes) mentally taxing. So, upon my return home, there was very little left of me to share with my loved ones. My current job, is certainly not physically difficult. My worst complaint is that my index finger might get a little numb from over clicking the mouse, or my neck may get fatigued from sitting in one position, or at the very worst, I lose my voice from talking too much...(But then again, I always talk too much!)
I have more energy to share with those most important to me, and I am grateful.
Thanks to this newly discovered energy, I am more aware of the abundance in my life, than I have been in years. First of all, I'm writing again! I didn't even realize how much I'd missed it. And little things, like clean sheets, a refrigerator filled with food, a evening snuggle...I am beginning to recognize that these little moments need to be celebrated and appreciated, just as much as the big moments, like graduations and birthdays..
So today, on Yom Kippur, as we are think about atonement and repentance, I am feeling reflective about my past.
I am guilty of spending to much time ruminating upon what I don't have instead about what I do have. If only I_________________. (had less wrinkles, a bigger bank account, a smaller waistline, a more satisfying career, more closet space, less anxiety, more, well just ....fill in the blank).
What a waste of energy!.
Thankfully, I am evolving. I am putting into perspective what is really important. A loving marriage. Happy children. Friends who care. Family, whose arms are infinitely open and ready to catch us if we fall...Health, both mental and physical. And, finally, a sense of humor when one or more of those things isn't going so well.. And boy...sometimes they really aren't!
But, I am blessed beyond measure. I really am. I know my husband knows that. I pray my kids understand that. And my hope for the coming year? It is simply to remember these little blessings, the building blocks of my abundant life...and to appreciate them every single day...
