New Person

As mothers, we naturally put our the needs of our family in front of our own personal needs. That's okay. The problem is when our family's "wants" come before our needs. For most of my motherhood years, I have put myself on the back-burner.

As a single girl, I watched my diet, enjoyed shopping and putting myself together. Had my nails done weekly, spent a lot of time at the hair salon. As a mother, I skip meals, go to the hairdresser only 3 or four times a year, and manicures have become a rarity. My diet has consisted of whatever I can grab fast enough, or overeating to compensate for skipping lunch or breakfast. I stress eat, too. When I get frustrated, or sad, or angry, or bored, the refrigerator door pops open and I eat to comfort my soul.

I look at pictures of my younger, thin self and wonder what happened? I don't feel that much different that I used to. Yet, looking at photos of my current self is so surprising. I'll see a jacket or pants in the store, and think, "that's huge", but, it fits me. My sister is doing so well on Nutri-System and was kind enough to give me her "fat" clothes. I was horrified when I discovered that they were all way too small for me.

The girls have had friends come over, and when they see my wedding portrait, they always comment on how nice I looked. Ashamed of what I've become, I always joke, "Yeah, see what 15 years and three kids can do to a person?"

The problem is, I stopped worrying about ME. I worry about my kids, my husband, my house, my business, the bills, the dogs, the groceries, the laundry. But I stopped making the care and keeping of me a priority.

ENOUGH.

I started Nutri-System 4 days ago. I'm happy to be doing something. I want to look in the mirror and recognize myself again. So, I'm trying to find time to MOVE, and drink my water and take care of myself.

So that's it. I can't wait to be an "after". I'm not brave enough to post my "before photo", so instead I'm posting my, "before before photo". I'd like to look like that again, albeit, slightly more wrinkly and gray, but its a good reminder that, that pretty girl is somewhere inside of me.