expectations

I have a pretty controlling personality, I like being in charge, and I don't like surprises. I'm fairly good at logistics and planning, and I like to work through problems, taking into account any foreseeable circumstance that might interfere with our plans. That's why my job as "Camp Art Lady" suits me. The better I plan, the more successful my program is.

Today marks the 4th anniversary of my sister's wedding to her wonderful husband Joe. To preface , my sister plans huge parties as part of her job, with such ease and humility, it amazes me. She planned her wedding to take place on a yacht which sailed around Manhattan. It was a novel and unconventional approach to a wedding, but somehow, suited them perfectly.

On June 1, 2003, we expected beautiful, summer-like weather, but instead, we woke up to drenching rain showers. Even though the bulk of the party was to take place outside, we had to go along with the original plans.

We had a woman come to our hotel to do hair and make-up, and then Wendi, her friend Judy and I made our way to the docks. I was now dressed in a pretty gown , with sneakers and a raincoat and Wendi had her hair completely "done" including the veil. Carrying an umbrella, the bridal gown, home-made floral decorations, and a suitcase, we trudged through the rain and heavy winds, to where the boat was docked. It felt like a two mile hike, and absolutely not what you would imagine a wedding day to feel like.

We somehow arrived intact, maybe a little windblown, but we made it to the yacht on time. The ceremony was to take place on the upper deck of the boat under a tent. We were told to quickly line up, as the ceremony was about to begin. The fifty or so guests all made it, and the music began. I watched my girls, who were just a few moments before scared to make their way down the aisle, gracefully carry their flowers and take their walk. I got to walk with Addison, who was only 2 years old at the time. She held my hand and received the requisite "oohs and aaahs" from the guests.

We all stood at the front of the ship as my father escorted my beautiful and glowing sister down the aisle. She was crying, for this was a day she had waited for her whole life. As Wendi and Joe said their vows, the sun peaked through the clouds for the very first time that day.

The rainy weather, gusty winds and choppy seas made for a rocky trip, but somehow softened everyone's mood. It didn't matter that our hair was a mess, our make-up slipped off, our dresses were dragging in the water or we couldn't dance without the whole boat swaying. It actually added to the special feeling of the day. It was relaxed and fun and just about the most perfect wedding I've ever attended. I will always relish the memory of the crooked toupee of one of the guests practically falling off his head.

It's a lesson that I'll always be grateful for. Sometimes we have to let go of our search for perfection. My wedding (another perfect day, of course) took place in a country club. I remember worrying about whether or not the outside entrance had a cover, in case it were to rain that day. I prayed and prayed for good weather, because I didn't want anything to interfere with my royal wedding or my hairdo. It didn't rain, it happened to be a beautiful day, that I will forever treasure. What I didn't count on was the judge who married us calling me the wrong name during my ceremony. To this day, I still have friends who call me "Jori Lill" to remind me of his verbal gaff. I didn't expect it, but it was an added little bonus to an otherwise perfect day. And although I might have been upset by it for a few minutes in 1992, I am grateful that something about my wedding day was memorable to people other than my hubby and me.

So I am learning that things don't always go as planned, and sometimes, that's best thing that can possibly happen.