Giving In

We celebrated Sydney's 12th birthday yesterday. Having spent the day before in NYC and not getting home til well after midnite, left us tired and a little reserved. She decided to forgo (doesn't that look like it's spelled wrong?) the birthday party in exchange for a more elaborate birthday present. This year, the gift was a 15 foot trampoline. Now, I've sworn over and over, that we would NEVER have a trampoline. They're dangerous, for our children and their guests, create an an attractive nuisance (did I mention I was an insurance underwriter in my former life?) and on top of all of that, the next door neighbors have one in their yard. But the girls wore me down. In the end, we decided to go for it, in an effort to get them to spend more time outside and away from more sedentary activities, (i.e. the computer, the tv, etc.).

I'm afraid I'm developing a habit of "giving in" to their wishes and it concerns me. I really have a strong sense of right and wrong, good and bad, but they are always challenging me to look for the compromise.

I have admittedly looked down upon mothers who allow their kids to have a MySpace account, and just a month ago, I gave in, and allowed my girls to "sign in". What I previously considered dangerous, irresponsible and akin to leaving your child in a dark alley in a city ( and I still believe there ARE dangers), I now look upon as a wonderful way for my girls to communicate with friends, express themselves creatively and discover their own identity. Their accounts are "private", which means the only people that have access to their pages are people they invite, and the coolest part is, that I get to be the fly on the wall that I always wanted to be. I can sign in under their names, check their messages, their friends and exactly who and what they are talking about.

Do I always give in? No. I think expensive jeans are stupid, when the Old Navy ones are just fine. When they want a game boy, or ipod or other expensive equipment, they use money they have either earned or received as a birthday or holiday gift. I'm proud to say, we have never had a play station, nintendo, x-box thingy or other video games. When purchasing our last car, we could have upgraded to include a DVD player for the back seat. I believe that your imagination can be nurtured by simply looking out the window. Hayley wants to get highlights in her hair, and I think that at 13, she's got enough years ahead of her to be a slave to hair color, besides, she way too beautiful without. I recently heard about a mom who took her 13 year old and friends for Brazilian bikini waxes. That's outrageous.

I saw the mom of one of the "Barbie Bandits" today on Good Morning America. Remember those two pretty girls who robbed a bank, disguised only with their sunglasses, and then went to get highlights? The mom was devastated by her daughter. She spoke about how she was so involved with her daughter and always tried to teach her right from wrong. She was so sincere, and any mother could relate to her. Her daughter, however, giggled throughout her interview, as if she thought the whole incident was hilarious. She expressed remorse, though acted as if it were a simple little practical joke. At a certain point, even a concerned and caring mom can't control her daughter's choices.

Raising daughters who don't know right from wrong, feel entitled, and have little respect for property and other people is a great fear of mine. I believe that by constantly "giving in", this is what you can create in a person. This is exactly what I define as harder than colic.

I'll try to stay strong, and take each day, (and request) as they come. I'm a softy, but I'll try to picture the "Barbie Bandit" whenever I feel like my foundation is weakening. Once in a while, though, I'll probably give in, but I can assure you, there will be no Brazilian waxing anytime soon.