Blinded by my own Reflection

December 2006, we attended the Bat Mitzvah of Hayley's bff Samantha. The ENTIRE crew of us was invited to the event, Gregg, all three girls and me. It was a lovely cermony, a lovely reception. Sam's dad stood up at the reception to thank their guests for attending, and made mention of a very special guest, author Jennifer Weiner. She was doing research for a new book she was writing, and wanted to get a first hand look at the current Bar/Bat Mitzvah scene.

Now, frankly, I'm usually a little shy when it comes to stuff like this. But Jennifer Weiner!!! I first fell for her when she wrote a column in the Philadelphia Inquirer. When she wrote her first novel, I felt like a proud mama watching her little baby grow up. The movie, "In Her Shoes" was based on another of her novels, about two Jewish sisters from the Philadelphia area. It touched me to the core.

So here I am, at a Bat Mitzvah, and she's LITERALLY ONE TABLE AWAY!! I know she's going to be my new best friend. She's going to LOVE ME!! We are kindred spirits!! This is my CHANCE!!

I saunter up to my future BFF, and casually introduce myself. She was very polite, smiled, shook my hand, and that was that.

But I have an almost 13 year old daughter she can write about! I have a SISTER! I'm planning a Bat Mitzvah! I really LOVED Shirley McClaine in the MOVIE!!! We're practically TWINS!!!!!!!!!

Then it occurs to me, Wendi would absolutely PLOTZ if she heard about this. So I call Wendi on the cell phone, and I think, that all of a sudden this day is no longer about Samantha, the Bat Mitzvah, but it's about JENNIFER WEINER the FAMOUS AUTHOR!!!!!!!! And I feel bad about that a little, I really do.

"Wendi, you're not going to believe this" I speak on the tiny phone with my index finger plugging up my ear. "JENNIFER WEINER, is here right now!!!!!!!!!!""

Somehow, I got the brilliant idea, that if Jennifer Weiner spoke to my really much cooler and more successful older sister who works at a New York radio station, I might achieve a higher level of credibility than just an ordinary yenta guest at a bat mitzvah. So I approached the most famous person in the room, once again, this time with the my sister/the phone in hand.

"I'm sorry to have to interrupt you again, but my sister is a big fan, can you talk to her on the phone??"

Again, she was highly polite, spoke to Wendi, and when she was done, I figured NOW she'd really be my BFF. Once again, she wiggled her way out of my grasp.

At this point, I think I got the message. She wasn't attracted to me, to my really cool sister, to my love of her or anything. She didn't need anymore friends, and frankly, she WAS there that day to do research.

Darn it.

I think I continued to stalk a little after that, just to make sure she really didn't need me, she got to meet Hayley, and even interview her for her research, but no, she was clearly there to work not to socialize.

Oh well, easy come, easy go.

Fast forward, Mother's Day 2008. Wendi and I exchange gifts (I'm not sure how Mother's Day became a reason for sisters to exchange gifts, but somehow it has), and what is it, but Certain Girls, the recently published book by Jennifer Weiner.

Now, I'd love to tell you that there is entire chapter in her book about that fateful day in 2006 when Jennifer Weiner got to meet ME, but alas, I'm no fool.

What I can tell you, is that I'm just about 1/3 of the way through, and once again, Ms. Weiner touches my soul. She writes about the relationship of a mother and her almost 13 year old daughter. The perspective of the book switches between Mother and Daughter, and I'm amazed how authentic it feels.

Gregg asked last night if I was enjoying the book. I told him, it's making me a little nauseous. (And I mean that in a good way). It's just that I see so much of myself in this character, that it hurts a little, and I feel like I need to look away. Like when a bright light is shined into my eyes. The truth is so illuminated, it's a little blinding.

I really can't wait to continue reading, (nausea and all), and I must admit, that I feel comfort in reading about this relationship, that my insecurities, my worries, my sometimes unwillingness to let go of my hold on my children is not unique to just me. And even though Jennifer Weiner, the famous author doesn't have room in her life for me personally, I am grateful she has welcomed me into a little piece of her soul.

P.S. In her acknowledgments, she says, "In researching this book, I was lucky enough to be invited to....the bat mitzvah of Samantha W in Cherry Hill where absolutely NOTHING untoward happened. I thank...Samantha...and (her) parents, friends, and families for being so gracious and welcoming."

Did you notice she thanked Samantha's FRIENDs. Hmmmm....maybe she was referring to me....(give me a break, a girl can dream!)

P.P.S. Do you see the back of the arm on the cover of the book, it kind of looks like me on the day we met, pictured below.... (Okay, I know that's pushing it....but c'mon, do you think that's really just a coincidence???)